Thursday, April 22, 2010


I have been teased by several friends that I am on Facebook way too much. And they are probably right. So I did kind of back off a bit.

I look at Facebook as a communication tool. And a reconnection tool. I send off short messages to friends about all sorts of things, exchange personal information and to announce what is going on in my life and to catch up what is going on in theirs. Unless you've been asleep at the wheel, music and dance are the top two in my passion list. Sometimes there is nothing going on for days, and other times it seems like I am shooting out breaking news broadcasts like CNN.

I like to share with my dance friends where the next cool zydeco or blues dance will be. I like to share with them if I have travel plans. And I am sad to say that I had to share the news that two of our high school classmates had passed on. This seems to fall to me as I am on the high school reunion committee.

But what I love most about Facebook is the ability it has given all of us to reconnect. One of the things that always bothered me as time went by were the friends that I loved that just seemed to drop by the wayside as life went on.

Friends that moved, friends lost through divorce, friends lost just because life got too busy with a full time job and raising children and just basically trying to get through life as best as one can. I hope I am over trying to get through life. I hope I am in that phase where I am living my life with eyes wide open, consciously and in the moment.

I no longer have to get kids to dance lessons, school functions, doctor appointments or help with homework. Though I loved doing all of this it was exhausting and it just seemed like there were a lot of years where I would drop into bed and wonder where the day went. I felt like the hamster on the proverbial wheel.

Now I have more time to do exactly what I want. And I do. For the most part. There is still that part of the day dedicated to work, but now a lot of my work is like play. And I like that. I know it won't always be this way, but it's good for now.

Now for the reconnection part of Facebook. I saw a friend tonight that I have not seen in almost 20 years. Her ex-husband was the best man in my wedding. Her daughter was the flower girl. It was at her daughter, Tiffany's, 40th birthday party that I was blessed to see Rhonda again. We had sent a few emails back and forth the last few months but that's not the same as actually seeing somebody in person. Rhonda lives in Eastern Washington now, so we just couldn't stop and have a cup of coffee.

But we saw each other tonight and ran into each others arms. I loved this woman and I know she loved me. As couples we would spend hours and hours in each others company, having dinner, bbq's, watching TV, playing cards. Rhonda and I would make candles for Christmas together. We drank gallons of coffee together and talked about our worlds. She taught me how to make lasagna. She taught me how to be a good mother.

But what we shared the most was just telling it like it is. I like women like that. No BS, here is how I feel, here is what I said, here is what I did. I like that. And we shared laughter, lots and lots of laughter. That is one of the things Rhonda does best, telling it like it is and laughter. Her eyes twinkle, her smile lights up a room and her laughter is contagious.

Rhonda was divorced, remarried and moved away. I was divorced. Our paths never crossed. But now that we have reconnected, we are promising to keep in touch.

And when I got home tonight there was a FB email from a neighbor, again, removed from friendship by divorce and moving to Wisconsin about 20 years ago. Another woman that I loved. She was bright, funny and very loving. I've always missed her, thought about her often but.... Now we have FB to catch up on our lives and what is going on with our kids.

I have reconnected with friends from parochial school, high school (Love you, Viv!), people I used to work with and just friends that had faded into the sunset and my life is better for it. I have made new friends (Lori , Karen, CeeCee!), new business associates. I keep in better touch with people in my life that matter to me, nieces and nephews who are now in the kind of life that is ruled by their jobs, their kids, their spouses. So it's nice to just get a little line once in a while, to reconnect and to stay connected. I left my house tonight feeling a little sad, a little disconnected. Now the balance is back, all is right with the world and I've plugged back into it.

1 comment:

  1. Well said, Rita. When people give me a hard time about being on Facebook, I know they have not utilized it as it was meant to be. I love that in a snapshot I can know what is going on with friends (old & new), co-workers, dance buddies, my cousins, my siblings. In this day & age we are spread out near & far and without a tool like Facebook we might touch base now & then but would not get a sense of what is happening in peoples lives on a daily basis. Yes. I DO want to know when someone is having a rough day, or when they lost a pet, or when they are off on some adventure. It is not too much detail for me, it makes me feel - as you said much better - connected.